Name negotiations

Ah, names. As much as I talked big about not letting DH have any say as long as he kept coming up with insane suggestions, I really did want him to have some say in it. The day of Matthew's birth, I point-blank told him "his name will be Matthew". And that was that. Luckily, he likes the name, so there wasn't a fight there. So that left the middle name as DH's.

Problem was, I already had a middle name picked out, and I was completely in love with it: Sebastian. I thought I could have it because it is a known name, but unusual and not used a lot. That was DH's biggest argument... that he wanted his kid to have a "cool" name that almost no one else had. So I thought Sebastian was an awesome choice.

Yeah, not so much, in DH's opinion. So we started hashing out the same negotiations we'd been having for the past week or two, with me vetoing 99% of his suggestions. He finally got stuck on Star Trek names, as we're both Trekkies (he vetoed the name Data though). His first suggestion was Khalis, and honestly, I kinda liked that. He was so excited that I actually gave a green light for it, that I thought that's what it would be. But then he decided to push the envelope a bit. His next suggestion was Locutus. As in Locutus of Borg. *sigh*

I mean, it isn't horrible, but at the same time, I didn't want my son to be fodder for bullies because we, his parents, decided to give him a weird name. So I asked him to research the name to make sure there were no real negative connotations behind the name, and this is what he found that ultimately led me to okay the name Locutus:

"I am Locutus... of Borg. Resistance... is futile. Your life as it has been... is over. From this time forward... you will service... us."

Appropriate, don't you think? Anyway, he also found that the name is based off the Latin word, which means "spoken, or having spoken". So not a bad connotation.

But at the same time, I was still stuck on Sebastian. So I pulled the "I just had major surgery to have YOUR child" card, and told him that Sebastian would be a middle name, regardless of what he thought. He could have two middle names. I thought it was only fair since DH supplied the surname. :) So we'd each get 2 names. I was even nice and let him put Locutus first. Aren't I a nice wife? 

The name is so long, that when Matthew's social security card showed up, Sebastian had the "n" left out. Yeah, he's going to hate us for giving him such a long name. But at least he'll have good reason to learn the alphabet early. :)

Matthew's birth story

In true Jaime fashion, this will be long.

It all started on Friday, July 13, 2012. At that point, I was 39w4d. I woke up and noticed that I was having contractions... actual contractions! None of this lame Braxton-Hicks stuff. They were just barely a step up from BH's though, and very irregular, so I thought I had a few more days left, since a lot of women have irregular contractions for even a few weeks before they deliver. So needless to say, I wasn't timing them and just went about my day since they weren't very painful and I was feeling pretty good. I even went to Walmart, and later on that night, to a friends' house to play some games... although by that point, they were just a bit stronger. Still irregular and far apart though.

DH & I got back and watched a movie, and went to bed at about 2:30am. As soon as I layed down, WHAM! Painful contractions, and they were right on top of each other. It took me by surprise because all day and all night, they were never less than 10 minutes apart, and all of a sudden, they were 3-4 minutes apart. I tried to sleep, but by 3am, it was apparent that they weren't subsiding and that perhaps I should get up and start timing them. My hospital goes by the 5-1-1 rule... 5 minutes apart, lasting 1 minute, for 1 hour. So from 3-4am, I timed so I could fulfill that requirement. The only thing was, my contractions generally weren't lasting a minute. A few were, but for the most part, they were only 30-45 seconds long. By 4am, I decided it was time to wake DH and get ready to go to the hospital. But first, DH called labor & delivery to ask if we needed to come in. Since I wasn't having contractions that were a minute long, they thought it was just false labor, but since they were so close together, they wanted me to come in and be monitored, just to be sure.

We arrived at the hospital at about 4:45am and they put me in an observation room right away and strapped some monitors on me (which really hurts while you're having a contraction BTW). They left me alone for 10 minutes to gauge where I was, and after the 10 minutes were over, the nurse came back in and said that when DH called, she initially didn't believe that I was having short contractions that close together, but after watching the monitors, she became a believer. Then she checked my cervix. Yeah, I was 6cm dilated. So the nurse told me that I got to stay! Yay! They then moved me into one of the sweet birthing suites and we settled in (aka DH layed down on the couch and tried to take a nap).

The things that happened over the next 4 or so hours went by like a flash. It seemed as though everything that happened, happened in just an hour. First, with almost every single contraction, I felt the overwhelming urge to pee. I was told this was normal because the baby was all up on top of my bladder and constricting things. This, along with the steadily intensifying contractions and my starting to hyperventilate, made me so uncomfortable that I requested an epidural. I have no regrets over this decision, as once I got it, things seemed to calm down for me. My epidural hadn't had time to fully set up though when my doctor appeared to check my cervix. But this point, it was probably about 7am, although I can't be sure because I wasn't looking at a clock. I was just about at 10cm... just a little bit of cervix was left. So she went back to wherever doctors go when they're waiting, and about 10 minutes later, a nurse came in and had me do a few practice pushes to see if I could get that last little bit. I did.

Now the fun part. The nurse left with instructions to let her know when I had the urge to push or if I felt like I needed to poo. Well, I never got either urge, although the urge to pee was still going strong. And before I go further, I must mention that my epidural had not yet completely set up. This will play a factor in what would happen later.

Anyway, about 20 or so minutes after the epidural, the nurse comes barreling into my room, telling me it's time to push. Apparently they can tell by the baby's heart rate when that is. So while my doctor is on her way to my room, the nurse has me start pushing. Then my doctor shows up while I'm still pushing and not getting anywhere. All the while, I'm watching the monitor that showed my baby's heart rate to be plummeting during each contraction. Almost every time, it dropped drastically... down to 50 bpm a few times. I knew that that was bad. Then they put an oxygen mask on me. Yeah, it was bad. Then after about 5 minutes (I think... like I said, it seemed to go super fast), my doctor utters the word "c-section". But she knew I didn't want one unless needed, so as a last resort, she had me try pushing a few times on each side and then on my hands & knees, just hoping that the baby's heart rate would come back up. Nope. So while I'm still on my hands and knees, she tells me that she strongly urges me to consent to a c-section since the baby was in trouble. I immediately agree, a consent form was slapped in front of me, and DH does his job and questions whether it was really needed or not. He knew my feelings as well and was just making sure that the doctor wasn't pushing an unnecessary c-section on me. But I assured him that it was okay, because I knew the baby was in trouble. So I signed.

But this is where it got scary for me. Because the baby needed to come out now, and since my epidural hadn't fully set up yet, they told me that they were going to put me out since they didn't have time for the epi to kick in fully, or time to set up a spinal. That meant that DH wouldn't be allowed in the OR. That scared the crap out of me. I needed and wanted him with me. But by some miracle, the on-call surgeon got held up trying to get to the hospital, and that gave them the 5 extra minutes they needed to set up the spinal. So DH did get to be there for me and the baby's birth. And another scary part was that while the nurses were getting me all set up in the OR, one of them had a doppler continuously on my belly... and I couldn't hear the heart beating. That was scary shit. So needless to say, by the time DH got in the OR and the surgeon was cutting me open, I was crying from fear. DH was talking to me, trying to distract me, and the anesthesiologist was doing the same. Within minutes, I feel a sudden emptiness, a suction, a cry and someone saying "it's a boy!" He was born at 9:49 am.

DH then goes over to the baby (because I told him to) and after they clean him off a bit, they bring him over to me so I could say hi. Then they take him back to the nursery while I got stitched up. I didn't feel them packing my uterus back in or the stitching/stapling back up. But when I was transferred onto the gurney, my stomach definitely felt that. Within seconds, I was telling them that I felt like I was going to puke, and a few seconds later, I was. Can I just say that those little dishes they put by your head to puke in are completely useless? Like I can aim when I'm laying flat on my back and can only turn my head to the side. I ended up puking all over myself, the gurney, the floor, and I'm pretty sure I got a nurse or two. Then I spent about a half hour in a recovery room near the OR where I proceeded to get the severe shakes. If it weren't for the fact that I was told that it was normal, I would have thought I was having a seizure. And then on the elevator ride back up to labor & delivery, my stomach decided to rebel again, though by that point they had given me something bigger to puke in, so I managed to keep it contained. I did feel bad for the laboring couple that witnessed this though. But there was nothing I could do besides look embarrassed.

Since I had a c-section, they moved us from the birthing suite I was originally put in, to a post-op room. It was still pretty nice though. DH was there with the baby when they rolled me in, and once they got me situated, I got to hold my son for the first time.

And we (I) had a few names to consider, but wanted to meet the baby first. He is totally a Matthew, so that's what we named him. I actually call him Bubba though... I think he likes it. His middle name... well, we still were debating that well into the second day. That story will be continued in another post. As will my hospital recovery and home recovery.

Anyway, it turns out that the baby wasn't moving down like he should and heart rate was dropping because the cord was wrapped around his neck AND his body. Must have been all those flip turns I did while swimming. I'm glad my doctor was on top of things because it could have turned out devastating. But he was screaming and pink when he made his appearance, and got the clean bill of health from the doctor.

So that's how Matthew came into the world. A little too exciting for my taste, but it turned out good, so I can't complain.

Introducing...

Matthew Locutus Sebastian!

He was born Saturday, July 14, 2012 at 9:49am via emergency c-section. He weighed 7 pounds, 3 ounces and was 20.5 inches long.

Obviously, he's the most beautiful baby in the world. I'm sure you'll all agree. ;)

Sorry I haven't updated sooner. I'm still trying to get my feet under me, and honestly, one of the last things I've been wanting to do since having him is be on the internet. Hopefully I'll get my rhythm again, and then I'll probably start blogging more regularly.

Until then, just gaze at this wonderful face and wait in great anticipation for my birth story and how in the heck he got stuck with a huge mouthful of a name, even leaving out our last name, which is long all by itself. Poor kid. :)

Pregnancy: 39th week

Week 39
July 10 - 16

Progression. That's what I think I'm having. Lots of Braxton Hicks, some real contractions (though short and not very painful) and lots of cervix hits. It's still pretty surreal for me... I mean, I know I'm pregnant, as that fact would be hard to miss seeing as though I'm roughly the size of a small house. Cliche, I know. But it's true. Anyway, it's hard to grasp the fact that within a week, DH and I will be solely responsible for another human being. We've waited so long to get to this point, and now that it's here, it's scary as hell. Which is normal, I'm sure.

Physically, I'm doing as well as can be expected. My feet are pretty swollen, but not painful. It's kinda weird walking though. With every step, I can feel the water sloshing a bit. After a brief hiatus, my nose is back to being stuffy. Rash is still gone! ECP still here. And fingers now feel arthritic in the morning, and periodically throughout the day.

My 39 week appointment was another short one. I'm measuring good, blood pressure is good, baby's heart rate is good. She offered a cervical check, but I declined until next week, if I get that far. I just felt that I could go for weeks being 2cm dilated, and besides, there's nothing I can do about it. Baby will come when it wants to come.

But the next day, I was wishing that my appointment would be the next day, as the baby was trying its hardest to make an escape. And that included a lot of cervix hits. So I'm guessing I'm closer to 3cm now, although I can't back that up without her actually checking me.

Pregnancy: 38th week

Week 38
July 3 - 9

Well, things are starting to progress and I'm excited about it, in a terrified kind of way.

My 38 week appointment included another cervical check, and my doctor determined that I'm between 2-3 cm, but closer to 2. And it's apparently thinning out nicely, too. So yay! I know it can still be a few weeks before the big event, but every cm I get will just be less work for me when that time comes. And I'm Group B Strep negative! That's one less thing to worry about.

On the 4th of July, DH persuaded me to go with him and some friends while they disc golfed, just to walk around. I was feeling a little crampy, probably from the cervical check the day before, so I told him I would walk the first 9, but then I was going home while they finished up the back 9 (he brought his bike so I wouldn't have to go back and get him). Pretty much as soon as we started walking, I started having some minor contractions. Most of them were Braxton Hicks, but a few of them were uncomfortable enough for me to stop walking. It didn't help that the park we were at is pretty hilly and the baby was pressing on my cervix. DH was teasing me that when I was in actual labor in the hospital that I'd just want to lay in bed since I didn't seem interested in walking any more to see if things progressed. But I replied that there are no hills in the hospital halls, and that was my biggest problem... I didn't want to tumble down a hill. That, and I was exhausted. 

After they got through the first 9, I went home and did something I rarely do... I took a nap. And it was glorious! I was originally planning on going with DH & some friends to the lake for a bit to swim after that, but figured I should stay home since I was exhausted (they went swimming while I was napping). Besides, every time I go to the lake, no matter how diligent I am about sun block, I always end up burned. And I didn't want to tempt fate by getting burned and then going into labor. I can't even imagine how much that would suck. I continued to have contractions throughout the day, but not nearly consistent enough to warrant a trip to the hospital. I was hoping that I'd continue having them the next day, but alas, they stopped. I've definitely dropped though, so that's something.

And I'm sad to report that my Evil Crotch Pain has reappeared after a brief hiatus. Not cool. But what IS cool, is that my rash has seemingly disappeared. Guess the threat of that monster tub of steroid cream scared it off. Either that, or the antibiotic I took to get rid of my bladder infection helped it go away. Who knows? All I know is that I don't care, just as long as it stays gone! But another annoying thing has cropped up at night: restless legs. It's not horrible, but prevalent enough to keep me from falling asleep in a timely manner. I've heard that putting a bar of soap at the foot of the bed works, so I'm going to try that if it keeps up.

I'm also finishing off buying all the little things we'll need right away, so that's a relief. I finally got the garbage can that will hold all the dirty cloth diapers, as well as baby nail clippers & files, brush & comb set and a pack of socks. I also rearranged some shelves in our kitchen in order to have space for the bottles we have. DH was especially impressed by this, as he has a weird thing about cupboard space. I intend to breastfeed, but just in case, we have a dozen or so bottles and 2 sample packs of formula. Hope we don't need them, but it's nice to be prepared so the baby won't starve if breastfeeding doesn't work. 

And finally, the most daunting part... I need to finish up the nursery/find home for stuff in the nursery. But that means I need to get on some sewing, as some of the mess is fabric/sewing stuff. I also need to make a painting for over the crib. That's not as important, but it'd be nice to have that done before the baby arrives. So maybe DH should get on making me a frame for my canvas, huh? I'm also waiting to find out what we're having before I do the curtains. I have a few fabrics I've been looking at, but a few of them are more girly, and although I originally aimed to keep the nursery gender neutral, I decided that fun curtains would be the exception. So now we wait. But for the most part, the nursery is done... just a little messy, but that comes to no surprise to those who know me. :) There'll be pictures at some point, but I can't guarantee a time-frame for them. Soon though. :)

Thoughts on maternity clothes

So I was thinking the other day what, if anything, I'd change about my maternity wardrobe if I got to build it all over again. And technically I could buy more mat clothes, but with only 2 or so weeks to go, it'd kinda be pointless unless I REALLY needed something, which I don't.

But anyway, here's my conclusion on maternity clothing, and what I recommend for a first time preggo who is wondering what they'll need. But note: I do not work outside the home, so you're on your own for figuring out work clothes. :) Oh, and my style is decidedly very casual... I am far from being fashionable, and am the first to admit it. So if you're a t-shirt & jeans type of girl, this is more up your alley.

Anyway....

1) You can never have too many tank tops!!! I wear them about 95% of the time, although part of that has to do with the fact that it's warm out. But I honestly think I'd wear them that much in the winter, too, only I'd layer stuff on top. I have 6 that I'm rotating between, and I feel as though I could use a couple more, even though 6 sounds more than sufficient. It's not. Next time I get pg, most of my maternity purchases will likely be tank tops.

2) They might look weird, but the stretchy panels on pants, shorts & skirts are the bomb! The bottoms I have that do not have this panel, I'm always having to pull back up because they slip down so easily. And it also offers a barrier between your skin and your shirt when your belly becomes big and itchy.

3) Maternity jeans suck. Now it could be the reason I think this is because my 2 pairs don't have the stretchy panel, but they are so uncomfortable that I only wear them when everything else is dirty... which is never because I do a lot of laundry. Instead, I'm wearing gray cargo pants that roll into capris (awesome purchase, by the way), khaki shorts, black leggings and skirts for my bottoms.

4) Casual dresses and skirts are your friends! I have 2 skirts and 1 maxi dress that I absolutely love. They lend an airiness factor that you can't really get with shorts or pants. It's hard to explain. But if you've been pregnant, you'll understand.

5) Empire waisted shirts & dresses: do it! I've found that the further along I get, if my clothes don't have this waist, it makes me feel huge and dumpy. Now all of my tank tops don't have this feature, and for those, I don't seem to mind. But all my other shirts, I do. Just a personal thing, I think.

6) Seasonal weather doesn't factor in very much, so think before you buy. When I found out I was pregnant, it was heading into winter. So of course my first purchases were long-sleeved t-shirts. How many times have I worn said shirts? Maybe 2-3 each. I was so warm even in the cold of a ND winter that I would just get too sweaty in them. So I'd end up wearing short-sleeved t-shirts and tank tops, and bringing a sweater just in case I did get cold. Yeah, I got a lot of weird looks, especially since at the time, I hadn't told anyone I was pregnant. But weird looks are infinitely better than huge sweaty pit stains.

7) Maternity clothing leaves a lot to be desired, so if you're able to, go to your favorite clothing stores and just buy the next size up. My favorites are t-shirts from Old Navy. They run a little big anyway, so my medium shirts lasted quite a while. If I tried any on right now, I'm thinking I could get away with wearing an XL. And I had one pair of pre-pregnancy jeans that worked a lot longer than I thought they would. I was able to get away with this up until my 7th month before I needed to have a 100% maternity wardrobe, although I realize that a lot of women won't get as far as that.

8) Unless you buy a lot of maternity clothes, you WILL get bored with your wardrobe. I purposely didn't buy a lot because I was only going to wear this stuff for a couple of months and didn't want to spend a lot of money. But now I wish I had bought a few more things, because I feel I'm constantly wearing the same thing over and over again. It also makes it hard to pack your hospital back with extra clothes when your wardrobe is so limited anyway. And I look at all my pre-pregnancy clothes just hanging there in all their wonderful colorfulness in my closet, and I wish I could wear them still. Just a few more weeks, and maybe I'll be able to fit back into some of the looser articles I have. And perhaps that pre-pregnancy pair of jeans that worked for such a long time will fit soon, too. We shall see.

Pregnancy: 37th week

Week 37
June 27 - July 2

Woot! I'm full term now! It's an awesome feeling to know that should I go into labor, my baby would be considered fully developed. So this baby can come any day now. Truly, it's okay.

Because I got the official PUPPP diagnosis from my doctor, although she said my rash isn't typical, so it could also be Papular Dermatitis of Pregnancy, which is very similar, but not as extreme-looking. And since it's now on my feet, ankles, whole upper legs, lower belly and parts of my arms, she re-ordered the steroid cream. To avoid having me ask her every week for a new container, she just went ahead and ordered a 1 pound container. The picture is blurry, but that doesn't matter. I just wanted to show you exactly how huge this container is! I don't know if I need quite THAT much, but I guess it's nice to know I've got enough to see me through until it goes away.

Anyway, my 37 week appointment went fine. It was a short one. But I forgot to ask about the results from my Group B Strep test, and she was pre-occupied with my rash so she forgot to mention it as well. I would call, but I'll see her again next week, so no biggie. There is one thing I noticed the past 2 weeks that has me a little alert though. Usually when she measures my belly, she'll say "looks good" or something along those lines. But there's been no comment at all the past 2 appointments. I'm sure it's nothing, and the baby has been active, so it isn't causing panic. But just the same, I'm curious about it. Has the baby's growth slowed? Is she just assuming that I know that I'm measuring fine? I don't know.

I am now at the point where I'm super uncomfortable. The hot weather has made my feet swell, and now it's working its way into my face. It's more painful to be up and moving, but by the same token, I'm not that much more comfortable just sitting around either. And lately, I've noticed my fingers feel arthritic, especially in the morning. At first, I thought it was just that I'd slept with my hands in weird positions, but they've hurt every day for a week now. And some of my July baby internet friends are reporting the same thing, so it's just one of those fun things you get late in pregnancy I guess.

And finally, I've been having moments of panic regarding money, especially since I've been looking into insurance stuff. Sometimes I'm convinced that we seriously cannot afford to have children, which then leads me into feeling guilty that I don't work outside the home, not bringing in any money. But then I have to remember that wise old saying of "if people waited until they could afford to do something, they'd never do it" and then I calm down and realize that we'll find ways to make it work. Heck, that's what got my DH to finally propose to me... he expressed to his mom that he couldn't afford to get married and she told him that saying. It worked, because not too much later, he asked me to marry him. And we've made it work. So this will, too, even if it means me getting a job and bubs being put into daycare. But that's a last resort option before more drastic measures, like selling our house, happen.

Yeah, another not fun & cheery post. But I'm not that perky normally, and I tend to worry a bit, so it's reflected in what I write about, which I consider keeping it real anyway.