There are a ton of common questions people get once they get to certain ages, and they are mostly super annoying after a while. There's the "when are you guys going to get married?", then once that happens, it becomes, "so... when are you having kids?" And now I'm finding out that once your baby turns one, I'm fully expected to pop another baby out.
DH and I went to his former place of employment last week, and pretty much everyone asked this question. Okay, yes, I'll let you, a virtual stranger to me, know that DH & I are planning on having sex... lots and lots of sex. Because you know, you have to have sex to make a baby, and since we're working with PCOS here, it pretty much means that it'll take a while again. I realize that when people ask this question, they're not really thinking about the sex part. But it feels like everyone is nosy about our sex life... from my perspective anyway. And yes, I realize the irony from complaining about this nosiness and then writing about it for all to see. But we're all friends here, right? Right.
Anyway, the whole point of this post is just to get it out there, officially.
No, we are not "trying" for another baby yet. Maybe some time soon-ish, but at this point, I'm not so eager for another c-section so soon after the first one. It sucked, yo. I wouldn't classify it as a traumatic experience, but until I want another baby super badly, which I don't yet, then it can wait. That, and I am really enjoying my solo time with Matthew. Yes, I'm sure he'd love a sibling to pick on.... I mean, play with. He'll probably get one. Just not right now, and that is okay.
Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
August 31, 2013
April 20, 2013
First days at home
As Bubba hits 9 months old, I'm all of a sudden remembering the first few days out of the hospital. It seems so long ago, but really, it wasn't. I mean, it was less than a year ago. But when your baby comes out a tiny little peanut and 9 months later is over 20lbs, it just seems like time has flown. Anyway, 2 of my sisters-in-law are pregnant, and are both due in August, so that also adds to my nostalgia.
I remember the day we brought him home. It was blazing hot out, as it typically is in July. It just seemed hotter because they keep the hospital just a touch above Arctic temperatures. So we walk out, and WHOOSH... a blast of humid heat. It was so surreal to me (aka I was drugged up pretty good). Then as soon as we started to drive away, Bubba started screaming and didn't stop almost until we got home, by then he'd fallen asleep. DH brings the carseat inside as I settle on the couch. He looks at me and asks, "now what?". Exactly. It's funny because you think you're ready for a baby, but when it's time to leave the hospital with one, you're struck with this overwhelming fear because you really have no idea what to do now. It's like, "Crap. They let me leave with a baby!" But as I'm writing this 9 months later, I can assure you we figured it out that day. Just let the baby sleep in the car seat. When he wakes up, take him out. Change his diaper. When he cries, pop a boob in his face. Stuff like that.
It really helped that prior to having Bubba, my mother-in-law gave us a DVD called "Dunstan Baby Language". DH & I watched it a few times, and again brought it to the hospital for a refresher. Those first few weeks, we had this crying thing down. Oh, he's hungry. Fixed. Oh, he needs a new diaper. Fixed. And all the while on my mommy due date group, the new moms were constantly in a flurry of panic because they didn't know what their babies wanted. So I felt ahead of the game. Sucky thing though, is that their cries change after about 3 months. THEN we had to re-learn, and I was in a flurry of panic. Humble pie was eaten.
Okay, I've gotten a little off track. Where was I?
Oh, first days at home. Right. So, it pretty much sucked for me. Having a c-section is no joke. I can't understand why someone would elect to have one unless they have to (I will have to in the future unless I want to risk it and go for a VBAC in Fargo). It sucks, and isn't worth the "convenience" of having a baby on a certain day, or choosing to have one just to avoid labor. My opinion of course.
Anyway, I couldn't freely move around, and it made taking care of Bubba more difficult than it should have been. DH took a week off of work, and he helped a ton. But he had to go back to work eventually, so I set up camp in the living room. Nursing pillow, laptop, food, meds, camera. He slept on me during naps those first few days, and then we got a Rock n Play sleeper, and that came into the living room, too. Only times I really had to get up were to go to the bathroom, or to change his diaper. I did walk around a bit, but I had to be careful, as one day, I did too much, and then I was in pain the rest of the week. Lesson learned.
I also learned these gems...
Do not try to be brave and think that you don't need your meds. Because by the time you realize that you do need your meds, the pain is back and it's so difficult to get it back under control.
Do not disregard the recommendation that you take a stool softener after you get out of the hospital (where they make you take one every day). For realz, yo. I'll leave it at that.
Mesh panties are awesome. I stole some from the hospital. I'm sure they would have given them to me had I asked, but I was feeling rebellious, so I snuck some into my bag.
The incision site will be numb for a long time. I'm pretty sure mine was numb for about 6 months. And even now it still doesn't feel "normal". The incision also makes your tummy look like it has a pouch. It's awesomely attractive when combined with the gnarly stretch marks. And yet, I will still probably wear a bikini this summer. Battle scars aren't anything to be ashamed of.
I also learned to NOT sleep on my right side. For some reason, I could only get out of bed if I were on my left side. It hurt about 1,000x worse if I tried the right side. And forget about rolling over. One day while Bubba was napping, DH & I were cudding/resting on our bed, and I foolishly laid down on my right side. DH being DH, he fell asleep. About 20 minutes later, I needed to get up, and found that I absolutely could not. It hurt sooooo bad, I was crying. But I was also too proud to wake DH up so he could help me. Nonetheless, in my struggle to get up, he woke up, saw my predicament, and helped a girl out.
And the most important thing I learned, is that there is a horrible hormonal reaction when your baby cries. It is almost physically painful to listen to. I suppose it's because mothers are supposed to respond to their baby's cries, and this helps ensure this. It's something I still struggle with, even though DH logically explains to me that deep down, I know they're safe, so it's okay to take a shower while they scream in the crib. Yeah, easier said than done.
As I wrap this up, I can't help but scold myself that I didn't write this stuff down while it was happening. In my defense though, it's only recently that I feel like I've been able to take a breath of air for myself. Breathing is good. For realz, yo. :D
I remember the day we brought him home. It was blazing hot out, as it typically is in July. It just seemed hotter because they keep the hospital just a touch above Arctic temperatures. So we walk out, and WHOOSH... a blast of humid heat. It was so surreal to me (aka I was drugged up pretty good). Then as soon as we started to drive away, Bubba started screaming and didn't stop almost until we got home, by then he'd fallen asleep. DH brings the carseat inside as I settle on the couch. He looks at me and asks, "now what?". Exactly. It's funny because you think you're ready for a baby, but when it's time to leave the hospital with one, you're struck with this overwhelming fear because you really have no idea what to do now. It's like, "Crap. They let me leave with a baby!" But as I'm writing this 9 months later, I can assure you we figured it out that day. Just let the baby sleep in the car seat. When he wakes up, take him out. Change his diaper. When he cries, pop a boob in his face. Stuff like that.
It really helped that prior to having Bubba, my mother-in-law gave us a DVD called "Dunstan Baby Language". DH & I watched it a few times, and again brought it to the hospital for a refresher. Those first few weeks, we had this crying thing down. Oh, he's hungry. Fixed. Oh, he needs a new diaper. Fixed. And all the while on my mommy due date group, the new moms were constantly in a flurry of panic because they didn't know what their babies wanted. So I felt ahead of the game. Sucky thing though, is that their cries change after about 3 months. THEN we had to re-learn, and I was in a flurry of panic. Humble pie was eaten.
Okay, I've gotten a little off track. Where was I?
Oh, first days at home. Right. So, it pretty much sucked for me. Having a c-section is no joke. I can't understand why someone would elect to have one unless they have to (I will have to in the future unless I want to risk it and go for a VBAC in Fargo). It sucks, and isn't worth the "convenience" of having a baby on a certain day, or choosing to have one just to avoid labor. My opinion of course.
Anyway, I couldn't freely move around, and it made taking care of Bubba more difficult than it should have been. DH took a week off of work, and he helped a ton. But he had to go back to work eventually, so I set up camp in the living room. Nursing pillow, laptop, food, meds, camera. He slept on me during naps those first few days, and then we got a Rock n Play sleeper, and that came into the living room, too. Only times I really had to get up were to go to the bathroom, or to change his diaper. I did walk around a bit, but I had to be careful, as one day, I did too much, and then I was in pain the rest of the week. Lesson learned.
I also learned these gems...
Do not try to be brave and think that you don't need your meds. Because by the time you realize that you do need your meds, the pain is back and it's so difficult to get it back under control.
Do not disregard the recommendation that you take a stool softener after you get out of the hospital (where they make you take one every day). For realz, yo. I'll leave it at that.
Mesh panties are awesome. I stole some from the hospital. I'm sure they would have given them to me had I asked, but I was feeling rebellious, so I snuck some into my bag.
The incision site will be numb for a long time. I'm pretty sure mine was numb for about 6 months. And even now it still doesn't feel "normal". The incision also makes your tummy look like it has a pouch. It's awesomely attractive when combined with the gnarly stretch marks. And yet, I will still probably wear a bikini this summer. Battle scars aren't anything to be ashamed of.
I also learned to NOT sleep on my right side. For some reason, I could only get out of bed if I were on my left side. It hurt about 1,000x worse if I tried the right side. And forget about rolling over. One day while Bubba was napping, DH & I were cudding/resting on our bed, and I foolishly laid down on my right side. DH being DH, he fell asleep. About 20 minutes later, I needed to get up, and found that I absolutely could not. It hurt sooooo bad, I was crying. But I was also too proud to wake DH up so he could help me. Nonetheless, in my struggle to get up, he woke up, saw my predicament, and helped a girl out.
And the most important thing I learned, is that there is a horrible hormonal reaction when your baby cries. It is almost physically painful to listen to. I suppose it's because mothers are supposed to respond to their baby's cries, and this helps ensure this. It's something I still struggle with, even though DH logically explains to me that deep down, I know they're safe, so it's okay to take a shower while they scream in the crib. Yeah, easier said than done.
As I wrap this up, I can't help but scold myself that I didn't write this stuff down while it was happening. In my defense though, it's only recently that I feel like I've been able to take a breath of air for myself. Breathing is good. For realz, yo. :D
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