Challenge accepted!

Something needs to be done. Seriously. It shouldn't cause me this much stress, but it does. And I have to subject myself to this 4-5 times a month, every month, forever and ever. What is it? Grocery shopping.

Funny thing is, I used to L.O.V.E. grocery shopping. I used to go multiple times a week. But that was back when I worked, and for the most part, DH & I each got our own groceries with our own money, and made our own meals. Once we started living off of only one income, we consolidated our lists and money into one, and I began shopping once a week, and cooking most meals. And then once we started Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University, the whole ballgame changed. I now H.A.T.E. grocery shopping. It stresses me the F out.

Our budget for groceries is a strict $400 a month, which seems quite high for only 2 people. In our defense though, we eat very little packaged, processed food, which is usually pretty cheap. Most meals are made by scratch, and we spend a little more to get better cuts/quality items. So that accounts for most of our $400 a month. The thing is, some months, that $400 is gone super fast. I try to keep each week's groceries to $100 or less, but sometimes I fail to realize that there are occasionally five Sundays in a month instead of four (I shop on Sundays), or special events take place which requires me to spend a little more in a trip. Groceries are also getting more and more expensive. So by the time the last Sunday of the month rolls around and I look in the grocery envelope, I often find only $50 or so. DH's sandwich stuff alone takes up about $25. Like I said, it stresses me the F out.

So one day a few weeks ago, I watched an episode of TLC's Extreme Couponing on Netflix, and it got me thinking that perhaps I should start couponing a little more to help even out my weekly stress levels. I have to point out, that at this time in my life, I don't have the time to dedicate to full-on couponing like you see in those episodes. But I do have time to look through circulars and clip the coupons I want, and I also have time to look at online coupon offerings. I wouldn't get huge stockpiles, just one or two of an item, and since no store in my town doubles coupons, the chances of me getting anything for free is slim to none. Perhaps later on down the line, it'll be worth the trip to Fargo every 2 weeks so I can shop in a store that does double. But for now, I'll stay in town. Anyway, I just want to cut $10 off my weekly trip. More would be nice obviously, but let's start small, shall we?

To keep track, I'll post weekly shopping updates. This week's trip is a little different, in that DH is going to try a mostly fruits and veggie diet. So the produce is about double of what I normally get, and there are no sandwich ingredients. And I didn't go full-on couponing. I did get a few things though. I spent $93.18, and I saved 4.30 through coupons. A nice trial run.

Non-produce purchases: Gummy cola bottles, 2 pounds of extra lean ground beef, 2 packages of shredded cheddar, a bottle of Italian soda, a gallon of orange juice, a half gallon of milk, 4 things of baby food, 3 cans of peaches, a bottle of hot sauce, a package of fish sticks, a bag of rice, a container of puppy chow, a microwave meal, and a Sunday paper (I want to see if it'd be worth buying every Sunday just for the circulars).

Produce purchases: a cantaloupe, a container of strawberries, a zucchini, a cucumber, an avocado, 2 bunches of celery, a bag of spinach, a bag of sugar snap peas, 2 pounds of carrots, 5 pounds of potatoes, 2 green peppers, a spaghetti squash, a head of green leaf lettuce, 6 ears of corn, a bag of organic lemons, a head of cauliflower, 3 roma tomatoes, 7 bananas, 3 oranges, 8 gala apples, and 8 kiwi.

On the "ability" of being a SAHM

Last night, DH had his company Christmas party, where employees from all the branches come to town to have a nice meal, free alcohol, door prizes and free hotel rooms. It's a huge deal, and they go all-out. Anyway, before the party, DH told me that some of his co-workers are jealous that I am able to be a SAHM. And indeed, a handful of them mentioned to me and DH that they wished they could stay home.

The thing is, they CAN.

Now, I've thought this way long before Dave Ramsey entered my life. So I won't turn this into a "take a Dave Ramsey course" plug, although I'll admit that his program has made it a little easier to be a SAHM. But soooo many people don't realize that if they really really wanted to, and both the husband and wife agreed, one of them can stay home and raise children for a living. They just have to realize that they'd have to sacrifice on some of the more creature comforts Americans have grown to "need". And yes, it is hard. But again, if they really wanted to, they'd find a way.

Here's a list of things we've sacrificed a bit on which makes it possible for me to stay home.

1. Our mortgage is modest enough that I don't need to bring in any money to help keep the roof over our heads. And a modest mortgage means that we have a modest house. No McMansions here.

2. Both our vehicles were bought used, were paid for in cash, and are creeping up on 10 years old. We have no plans on getting a new "used" vehicle anytime soon, as we haven't saved up enough to pay in full, and a car payment would take a big chunk of our budget.

3. DH's cell phone is mostly paid for by his employer, and mine is just a simple TracFone. I can make a call and text. That's it. No camera, no WiFi, no games. It's maybe $100 a year. (No, I don't talk on the phone a lot). If DH's employer decided to stop paying for his cell phone, he'd get a TracFone, too. And like the vehicles, we don't get the newest phones that hit the market.

4. We eat out once a week. Sometimes twice, depending on what's going on. But eating out is expensive, and it's sad when you spend more on eating out than what you spend on groceries. We used to eat out a ton, but when we added up everything we spent, it gave us a wake up call that we were wasting money.

5. We no longer have cable. If DH had his way, we wouldn't have internet, either, but a girl's gotta put her foot down sometime. :) Out of everything I've listed so far, this one is by far the hardest. I liked the background noise it offered, and the trashy MTV shows I got addicted to. But when it comes down to it, we really don't need to spend $60 a month on trashy MTV shows that I could watch for free online.

6. We don't do a lot of shopping. And this might be a product of where we live, where Walmart is the best place to get stuff, but really, we take one or two big shopping trips to Fargo a year. But otherwise, there is very minimal amounts spent on clothing, shoes and whatever else other people like to buy.

7. We don't take many vacations. And by vacations, I mean "go somewhere that's more than 1 state away". We'll take an occasional weekend trip to see friends in Minnesota or go see my family in Montana. But besides gas, those are pretty cheap as we don't pay hotel costs. Maybe some day we'll take a big vacation... and of course we'd save up for it.

Anyway, those are the big things that most people don't want to give up. Not saying that everyone does all those things, but just one or two of them alone can make it impossible for someone to stay home with the kids. But if they really worked at it, I bet they'd find that they COULD stay home.

Christmas gift ideas

The closer it gets to Christmas, the more I think about what to get Matthew. And it's hard, because there's so much I want to give him, but then I realize we're still doing Dave Ramsey and that there are limits. Limits are okay, as DH & I aren't super big into holidays, and we want to teach our children that Christmas isn't *just* about getting gifts. But I still want to have fun. So with that in mind, I started formulating gift ideas. And then one day....

On Pinterest, I came across something that I thought was a great idea... the "Four Gift Rule". It can be so easy to overbuy, so I think this will help keep us in check.

1. Something they want
2. Something they need
3. Something they wear
4. Something they read

See? Awesome in its simplicity.

My problem though, is going to be that most of the things I want to buy for Christmas, he'll actually need/want to use before then. So I have some thinking to do about it. Nonetheless, here's my list:

WANT
I think Bubba really wants a jumperoo. His head control is getting better everyday, and he loves to kick his legs, so this would be perfect. But I don't know about waiting until Christmas for something he'll be ready to use sooner than that. I dunno... I just want to get my money's worth if we get this. I don't know what he'll want otherwise. We have a TON of toys given to us, and I'm pretty sure my mom will shower him in toys as well.

NEED
Although I have to get DH on board with it, Bubba will need an amber teething necklace. I've heard awesome things about them, and am eager to try one. Again, we could get this sooner, because he's already showing signs of teething. But I suppose waiting until Christmas will work, too. After all, all his teeth aren't going to pop out all in one day.

WEAR
With Bubba's fluffy butt, putting jeans on him is difficult, as the ones that will fit over his ghetto booty are too big everywhere else. I came across these jeans one day a few months ago, and I decided that these might be the right jeans for him. They're Project Pomona's... jeans made specifically for babies in cloth diapers, although even babies who wear disposables can wear them, too. They have an adjustable waist band and cute cuffs on the legs, which gives them more life than regular sized jeans, as there are 3 pants sizes in each pair. So I think they'll be worth the money.

READ
I also came across this idea on Pinterest... buy a Christmas book, wrap it up, have the kids open it up on the 24th, and then read it to them before they go to bed. We can get away with this this first Christmas, but after that, the kid(s) will get a Christmas book AND another book to go in this category.

So there you have it: my initial Christmas gift list for Bubba!

Baby stuff on a budget

It's a relatively well-known fact that I am not the type of person that regularly frequents garage sales and thrift stores. Because let's face it, I like buying new, even if that means spending more money. But now that we've finished the Dave Ramsey course, I'm finding myself buying a lot less new stuff, and going more to garage sales and thrift stores. Not that I enjoy it all that much, but I do like the deals I get when I come across something I like. This past weekend especially, when DH & I stopped by a few garage sales.

The first one, aptly named the "Spoiled Kids Garage Sale", we picked up a handful of baby boy outfits, a baby-proofing kit and a bag with 10 Avent bottles with extra nipples in the different sizes. And the bottle bag was especially awesome because Avent is the brand I was looking to use should we have the need for bottles. We got there towards the end, so it was pretty picked over already, which was a little disappointing since they supposedly had some pack n plays and other stuff I was looking to get. We spent $8 total.

The second one, we accidentally came across while looking for another, and was the one we got the best deals at, so I'm glad DH turned one street too early. This one had tons of baby boy clothes, all very well taken care of, and super cheap prices (like, 10 cents & 25 cents). We got 3 bag fulls of clothes, and the best part is that the majority of things we picked up are easily things I would put a girl in. But the only down side I realized once I washed the clothes, is that most of the things we bought are for 6-12 months, and even some going up to 18 months. So our newborn-6 month drawer is looking a little bare, while the 6-12 month drawers (yes, drawers) are full. Anyway, we also got a box of cabinet stops, 5 t-shirts for DH, a fleece jacket for me, and a vibrating bouncer chair for the baby (for $1). We spent a grand total of $12.

The third one, we bought a teether, a set of plastic keys and a super cute monster hand puppet set with 2 books to go along. We spent $2.50.

The fourth & final one, we bought a handful of girls clothes. We already have quite a bit of girlie clothes, so we didn't buy too much, but what we did get is really cute. We spent $3.

So all told, we spent $25.50. Score! And BTW, no, the picture I put at the top is not what I bought. I stole it off the internet. I'm bad like that.

But I did have to put my foot down at a garage sale where we didn't buy anything. They had a toddler car seat for $5 that DH really wanted to buy. It expires in 2013, and since we'll need one eventually, DH was all for buying it. The thing is, this car seat looked the worse for wear, so I had doubts about whether it'd be safe or not. I said no. He thought it'd be fine once we cleaned it up, but I still got major red flags. So I finally got all practical and told him that by the time our baby was big enough to be able to use it, it would be expired, which it likely will be. He saw the light then, thank God. Just wish he took the safety factor of car seats more seriously. I'm all for saving money and whatnot, but not at the expense of our baby's safety.

Anyway, I'm not too worried about the lack of smaller clothing yet. Afterall, the garage sale season is just starting. Now I just have to keep an eye out for upcoming garage sales that mention baby clothes.

Pregnancy: 26th week

Week 26
April 10 - 16

I suppose it had to happen at some point this pregnancy: I completely and utterly freaked out over something stupid. And it was the works... anger, shame, tears (which usually come with anger) and jumbled thoughts. Mostly anger though. DH, although he was the instigator, handled it pretty well once my long fuse ran out.

So remember this lovely picture? The one I soooo want to copy and even found close or exact matches for furniture? The one DH likes as well and encouraged me to copy? Well, it came super super close to not being copied.

One day, he sits down and starts talking about the prices of the furniture I want and the cost to go get said furniture. It comes from Ikea, so it will involve a trip to Minneapolis since Ikea doesn't ship stuff cheaply. So yes, it's inconvenient, but still cheaper and they're exactly my style... something that almost anything we'd find here won't be. Anyway, the point is, he was making it sound as though I WASN'T getting the furniture from Ikea, and that I'd have to find used stuff from garage sales or borrow from people (from who, I don't know, as everyone who has a crib is actually still using it). Basically giving me a Dave Ramsey lecture. Before I go further, I have to state that I don't have problems with used furniture as long as it's in decent condition. But I had a HUGE problem with it when it started to involve the nursery because not only did I spend lots of time thinking of how I wanted it to look, I found cheap solutions for the furniture and it wouldn't involve me settling for something just because it's cheaper or more convenient to get. So in my eyes, it's a win-win situation, and it upset me to have that taken away just because he didn't want to travel to go get it. (We would still be in the area BTW... we'd made plans to stay with friends living 75 miles outside the Cities, and even if we weren't going to Ikea, we'd still go visit our friends. This added to my frustration).

Anyway, I won't go into much more detail, but my blow-up actually happened the day after. Yeah, I stewed about it overnight and into the early evening the next day. Then when he got home from work, he mentioned it again, apparently not noticing my surliness on the subject, and BAM! Crazy hormonal pregnant woman on a rampage. It was kind of more than just the furniture, too... Dave Ramsey had a pretty big part to play, as I go through periods of extreme stress and frustration over the program, and it just so happened that DH picked one of those times to bring this stuff up. Nothing like feeling poor & destitute when you do have money in the bank and takes an Act of Congress to be able to spend any of it.

After I settled down, we talked it through, and after price checking stuff in town and the internet, he came to the realization that I was right (of course I am) and we will be making the trip to Ikea in May as planned. And just to make sure, I had to tell him that I didn't want him to think I was crying to get my way, and that I cry when I'm angry. He's seen in happen before and I've explained it before, but I just wanted to make sure he remembered that. He did. So I feel secure in the knowledge that he didn't give in because I was crying, which would have made me feel like a shitty person if he did, because I am not that kind of woman.

See? Stupid. The baby won't care what the crib looks like, what color it is or where it comes from. And in the grand scheme of things, there are soooo many other important things to worry about, that afterward, I feel silly for being so upset about something that's just cosmetic. But I'm still right. ;)

Oh yeah... baby update. It's back to kicking my bladder constantly. Brat. And I'm mostly out of regular clothes now and into maternity stuff. On the weekend, some girlfriends and I went to Fargo to do some shopping, and I needed some nursing bras, so a stop to the maternity store in the mall was on the schedule. Yeah, my nursing bra size is a 34DD! That shocked the crap outta me because my boobs really haven't grown all that much. It was explained to me that regular bras and nursing bras have different sizing standards, so that made me feel a little less top heavy, but still. That's a set of letters I NEVER thought I'd attain. Also while we were there, the girls were pulling clothes for me to try on, so I spent a fair amount of time in the dressing room. In the end, I bought 2 nursing bras, 2 night bras, khaki shorts, gray cargo pants and a black skirt. Although there were a few other things I would have liked to buy, my budget didn't allow it (see Dave Ramsey mention above), so I just got some basic pieces that won't go out of style and that are versatile. That's how 95% of my normal wardrobe is anyway, so why change that now?

Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University

Just before Christmas, DH approached me and told me that our church was holding Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University seminar series starting in January and he wanted to sign us up for it. It is every Sunday from 6:30-8:30pm for 13 weeks. I will be honest and say that I was less than eager to go. I mean, we had already had a budget going for a few years and it seemed that we were doing well enough that we didn't need it. We pay for almost everything with a credit card, but the balance gets paid off in full every month. We have a modest mortgage and DH's student loan. But otherwise, we have no other debt. We put money in savings every month, and no bills go unpaid. We buy what we need, and occasionally what we want. We are both naturally frugal, so I was a little confused as to why he wanted to do it. I tried to drag my feet, but very quickly had the realization that it would mean a lot to him if I put out the effort and go. In other words, it would be the romantical thing to do, in his mind anyway (because he's weird like that). And as he is the CFO of the family, if he felt the need to go, maybe I should believe him. So we signed up.

We are currently four weeks into the program, and it certainly has opened my eyes about our financial situation, which turned out to be not as good as we had thought. The things I said in the previous paragraph held true, but when we added up everything at the end of the month, more often than not, we'd be spending more than was coming in just from DH's paychecks. And we couldn't figure out why we weren't feeling the pinch, especially when we don't do extravagant spending. After a lot of pondering, DH fell upon the answer... extra income from mineral rights.

For our wedding gift, DH's parents bought us a small share of mineral rights up in the northwestern part of my state that had previously been owned by DH's grandfather, who had passed away the year before. And with the huge oil boom going on, we occasionally get checks for the oil that is pumped on our section. Now, the checks don't come consistently for various reasons, and the amount varies from about $30 all the way up to a few hundred... so pretty modest amounts. Either way, that money had been seeing that we never felt financial pinches, because they always seem to come at the right time. And I'm not complaining about it because money is money and we're always glad to have some. It just left us confused for a long time because it's hard to include it in your budget when you never know when you'll next get a check with an unknown amount. So we didn't include it, and just stuck the money in savings only to forget about it. But we now have a plan for this money, which I'll include in another post.

From now until the end of the course, I'll do weekly posts about how it's going and what I honestly think about whatever homework assignment we're working on (aka I will complain like a student does when they don't want to do their homework). I know it doesn't sound exciting, but maybe it'll give someone the push to sign up for the course in the future. Someone who really wants to go, but won't sign up because their spouse doesn't want to go. Or maybe the spouse who doesn't want to go will see how beneficial it can be, even if that benefit is only to do it for their spouse.

And no, I'm not a convert. If DH hadn't wanted to go so badly, I would never have given it a second thought, and even now that we're a few weeks in, I'm still not super excited to go. But I haven't decided if it's because it's not up my alley of interest, or if it's because I am generally resistant to change... and this program is all about change. I'm leaning towards change.