I've had a few people ask me about this, so it's a good time for an update, huh?
It turns out that the day after I posted about the challenge, my husband, maybe realizing that he wouldn't be getting many nutritious meals should we go ahead with it, told me that we didn't have to do it. BUT... he would really really like it if I could use the stuff in the freezer, which is mostly meat. Okay, I can do that, and it won't make me feel overwhelmed trying to be creative after the fresh stuff is gone.
And I have to mention that I did not complain or whine about it... I was all on board to do it, though I wasn't jumping up and down excited to do it. Nor does he read this blog, so I cannot be blamed for his change of heart. :)
But while I'm talking about food and shopping, I'm going to do my grocery shopping for next week solely at Walmart, to see what the bill comes out to be. The grocery store I usually shop at has been raising their prices a ridiculous amount, and I'm having problems keeping within the $75 weekly budget, even without buying meat.
For an example, I buy FiberOne wheat bread. At the grocery store, it was $3.99 for a long time. Just last week, I noticed it is now $4.33. What is it at Walmart? $2.99. I know... paying $4 for a loaf of bread is insane, but my husband likes the fiber content, so that's what I get. There are other items I constantly buy that have had their prices go up, too, so we'll see how that turns out. Not totally wild about driving across town to grocery shop, and at Walmart to boot, but I'll take what I can get.
October 28, 2011
October 27, 2011
Irrational love
How can one love something that makes life occasionally inconvenient? Such is my love for the drug Metformin.
In my last post, I mentioned how it's drastically reduced the length of my cycles. And that is exactly why I love it. Before, I would have no idea in any given cycle just when I would ovulate. Sometimes it would be a short 24 days*, sometimes an average 38 days, and sometimes an excruciatingly long 63 days. And that's not counting the luteal phase, which is usually 14-16 days long for me.
It drove me insane with the waiting around. And the sucky part is that any egg that's released after 30 days of developing is not as strong as an egg that's released before that 30 days. I call it an old egg, but stale egg would be a more understandable term. Anyway, in my longer cycles, we would still try, but the fact that the egg wasn't fresh probably hindered us more than we realized until we'd been trying for well over 2 years.
Then in February of 2011, I went in for my yearly with my Physician's Assistant. And I had ulterior motives as well. At that point, I was 43 days into a cycle and had been spotting for the better part of a week... and no O in sight. I tested to make sure I wasn't pregnant and then I decided I'd had enough. So in my appointment, I asked the PA if she would write me a prescription for progesterone so I could end that hellish cycle. After she said okay, I went out on a whim and asked if she'd write me a prescription for Metformin as well. For those unfamiliar with the drug, it's main use is for people with Type 2 diabetes, as it helps the body absorb insulin better. And since one of the features of PCOS is insulin resistance, metformin is commonly used by RE's to help get that under control.
Back to my story, I kind of expected her to say no, because she is a PA and not a fertility specialist. But she is actually pretty knowledgeable about fertility matters, and she said yes! She started me at 500mg a day, and after a month, I was boosted up to 2,000mg a day. And ever since I started it, I have not O'd any later than 27 days, though the average now is 21 days. It's so wonderful, I don't know how I'm ever going to go back to "normal". Of course I have hopes that my body adapts to this timing, but I'm not going to hold my breath.
It does come with a price, however. Metformin is not an easy drug for the digestive tract. It does get better the longer you're on it, but even now, 8 months later, I have to be careful about when I take it, and to make sure I'm near a bathroom at all times because I never know how I'll react to the drug on any given day. Makes traveling interesting sometimes (and that is another reason why going on the band tour would be super inconvenient & humiliating).
But in the end, I have to weigh the good with the bad, and although living in a bathroom sucks, I can live with it since getting an early O gives me such a peace of mind and a renewed sense of hope. It also gives me more chances to try... going from 6 to 11ish chances a year. And chances are all I really want out of the drug.
*for a woman with long cycles, 24 days is short. Remember, it's all relative.
In my last post, I mentioned how it's drastically reduced the length of my cycles. And that is exactly why I love it. Before, I would have no idea in any given cycle just when I would ovulate. Sometimes it would be a short 24 days*, sometimes an average 38 days, and sometimes an excruciatingly long 63 days. And that's not counting the luteal phase, which is usually 14-16 days long for me.
It drove me insane with the waiting around. And the sucky part is that any egg that's released after 30 days of developing is not as strong as an egg that's released before that 30 days. I call it an old egg, but stale egg would be a more understandable term. Anyway, in my longer cycles, we would still try, but the fact that the egg wasn't fresh probably hindered us more than we realized until we'd been trying for well over 2 years.
Then in February of 2011, I went in for my yearly with my Physician's Assistant. And I had ulterior motives as well. At that point, I was 43 days into a cycle and had been spotting for the better part of a week... and no O in sight. I tested to make sure I wasn't pregnant and then I decided I'd had enough. So in my appointment, I asked the PA if she would write me a prescription for progesterone so I could end that hellish cycle. After she said okay, I went out on a whim and asked if she'd write me a prescription for Metformin as well. For those unfamiliar with the drug, it's main use is for people with Type 2 diabetes, as it helps the body absorb insulin better. And since one of the features of PCOS is insulin resistance, metformin is commonly used by RE's to help get that under control.
Back to my story, I kind of expected her to say no, because she is a PA and not a fertility specialist. But she is actually pretty knowledgeable about fertility matters, and she said yes! She started me at 500mg a day, and after a month, I was boosted up to 2,000mg a day. And ever since I started it, I have not O'd any later than 27 days, though the average now is 21 days. It's so wonderful, I don't know how I'm ever going to go back to "normal". Of course I have hopes that my body adapts to this timing, but I'm not going to hold my breath.
It does come with a price, however. Metformin is not an easy drug for the digestive tract. It does get better the longer you're on it, but even now, 8 months later, I have to be careful about when I take it, and to make sure I'm near a bathroom at all times because I never know how I'll react to the drug on any given day. Makes traveling interesting sometimes (and that is another reason why going on the band tour would be super inconvenient & humiliating).
But in the end, I have to weigh the good with the bad, and although living in a bathroom sucks, I can live with it since getting an early O gives me such a peace of mind and a renewed sense of hope. It also gives me more chances to try... going from 6 to 11ish chances a year. And chances are all I really want out of the drug.
*for a woman with long cycles, 24 days is short. Remember, it's all relative.
October 24, 2011
Waiting
You know the one part I hate about TTC? The waiting. Now, I generally regard myself as one of the most patient people on this entire planet, but with my body, it can get ridiculous. At the absolute worst, I waited over 63 days just to ovulate. When I started getting more and more of those super long cycles (anything over 45 days), that's when I decided enough was enough and asked my doctor to put me on Metformin. Now it's a very manageable 18-23 days. But I still find myself getting impatient. Like now. I'm CD19 and I know O will happen at any moment because I've been getting EWCM the past few days. But I still wanted it to happen yesterday.
Perhaps it's because I know that I will want the 2WW to get over quickly, so it might as well start now. So I'll have one more go with my hubby and hope I wake with a nice temp rise tomorrow morning. And then I can start waiting again. :)
Perhaps it's because I know that I will want the 2WW to get over quickly, so it might as well start now. So I'll have one more go with my hubby and hope I wake with a nice temp rise tomorrow morning. And then I can start waiting again. :)
October 19, 2011
Randomness
I'm tired of talking about infertility... for a little bit at least. So this post won't be about it. Yay!
But it will be a very random type of post. Because that's how I roll. :)
First, we have apples up the wazoo. Our apple tree had a bumper crop this year, and for once, we're actually going to be using them. Usually we just let them go. But anyway, we got our first frost last night, so after my husband got home from work, we took a few hours and did some picking and some major pruning... the tree is so huge that we will be unable to get the apples near the top. The only problem is though, is that I have no idea what to do with them all. He's going to be taking 2-3 boxes to his workplace, but we'll be keeping the rest. I'm thinking I'll make some apple chips, apple leather and apple sauce. It might involve me going back to Walmart and buying more jars for canning though. That's okay I guess.
Second, figure skating Grand Prix season starts tomorrow, and I'm super excited! I'm an uber fan and watch all the competitions online, whenever they may be on... which is sometimes at ridiculous times since most of the competitions will be held in Europe or Asia. But this weekend, it'll be in the US (Skate America), so I won't have to rearrange my sleep schedule. Yay! I have yet to actually attend a competition, but it's on my to-do list.
Third, I think I've lost about 5 pounds since I've started swimming. Yay! It just amazes me how much weight I'd gained while I worked. I was at 115 when I started working in June 2003, and at my max in March 2010, I weighed 145 and I was just about ready to move up a dress size... not cool. But then I got laid off, and 2 days later, got all 4 wisdom teeth out and really couldn't eat much for 2 weeks, so I lost about 10 pounds right there. And ever since then, it's just been coming off so gradually that I really haven't noticed until recently. Now I'm skirting around the 122-125 range, and I wouldn't mind getting back to 115. But my clothes fit well now, so I'm not sure I wanna try to get to a smaller size. We'll see. With the holidays coming up, it might be a tough battle to stay at this weight, but I'll give it a go. Good thing I don't normally eat a lot of Christmas cookies!
But it will be a very random type of post. Because that's how I roll. :)
First, we have apples up the wazoo. Our apple tree had a bumper crop this year, and for once, we're actually going to be using them. Usually we just let them go. But anyway, we got our first frost last night, so after my husband got home from work, we took a few hours and did some picking and some major pruning... the tree is so huge that we will be unable to get the apples near the top. The only problem is though, is that I have no idea what to do with them all. He's going to be taking 2-3 boxes to his workplace, but we'll be keeping the rest. I'm thinking I'll make some apple chips, apple leather and apple sauce. It might involve me going back to Walmart and buying more jars for canning though. That's okay I guess.
Second, figure skating Grand Prix season starts tomorrow, and I'm super excited! I'm an uber fan and watch all the competitions online, whenever they may be on... which is sometimes at ridiculous times since most of the competitions will be held in Europe or Asia. But this weekend, it'll be in the US (Skate America), so I won't have to rearrange my sleep schedule. Yay! I have yet to actually attend a competition, but it's on my to-do list.
Third, I think I've lost about 5 pounds since I've started swimming. Yay! It just amazes me how much weight I'd gained while I worked. I was at 115 when I started working in June 2003, and at my max in March 2010, I weighed 145 and I was just about ready to move up a dress size... not cool. But then I got laid off, and 2 days later, got all 4 wisdom teeth out and really couldn't eat much for 2 weeks, so I lost about 10 pounds right there. And ever since then, it's just been coming off so gradually that I really haven't noticed until recently. Now I'm skirting around the 122-125 range, and I wouldn't mind getting back to 115. But my clothes fit well now, so I'm not sure I wanna try to get to a smaller size. We'll see. With the holidays coming up, it might be a tough battle to stay at this weight, but I'll give it a go. Good thing I don't normally eat a lot of Christmas cookies!
October 14, 2011
Friends of Infertiles - Say This
In my last post, I listed some things that someone probably shouldn't say to someone going through infertility. So to perhaps be a little more helpful, I'll share some things that might actually help or comfort.
1. I'm sorry
If you don't know what to say, say this. It covers a lot of bases, and doesn't require further action. We understand that not everyone will want to talk about it. And honestly, we'll be very very very thankful that you didn't tell us we just needed to relax and it would happen!
2. Do you wanna talk about it?
If you're a good listener, this is a good one. A lot of infertile women are frustrated beyond belief and just need to talk to someone. No need to offer advice. Just be there and understand that there may be some tears.
3. Is there anything I can do?
Chances are, there is nothing you can do to help. But it's the thought that counts, and us infertiles appreciate that you are willing to help.
Here are some other things to consider:
1. If you yourself get pregnant, privately tell your infertile friend your news a few days before you let others know. There is nothing worse than finding out your good friend is pregnant when she announces it to a room full of people, and there is little chance for escape. While your infertile friends' heart will still be shattered no matter when you tell her, at least you've given her the privacy to cry as well as the time needed to work through very strong feelings.
2. Don't be upset if she doesn't get all excited when you tell her about your pregnancy. When she hears the news, she'll probably be thinking, "oh great. ANOTHER f*ing woman is pregnant." Chances are she IS very happy for you deep inside though, so give her time to be sad, angry and/or jealous for herself.
3. Understand when she isolates herself. There will be good days and bad days. So when she declines an invitation to dinner or games, it's probably because she needs time alone. Also in this category, is how she deals with your pregnancy. For example, when one of my good friends was pregnant, I was invited to touch her belly to feel the baby moving. My immediate instinct was to decline, so that's what I did. Because I knew that if I felt that movement, I would break down with yearning. It didn't matter if it was a good day or a bad day... I knew what would happen if I did. So I didn't. And my friend understood.
4. Know that the emotions an infertile woman feels when someone close to her gets pregnant are very strong and generally negative. Even if you don't understand why she is upset, know that her feelings and reactions ARE valid and real. So please respect her as a person and don't shame her into thinking she's wrong in being upset. Because it's not wrong to have a negative reaction. It's not right, either. It just is, and no one can change that.
1. I'm sorry
If you don't know what to say, say this. It covers a lot of bases, and doesn't require further action. We understand that not everyone will want to talk about it. And honestly, we'll be very very very thankful that you didn't tell us we just needed to relax and it would happen!
2. Do you wanna talk about it?
If you're a good listener, this is a good one. A lot of infertile women are frustrated beyond belief and just need to talk to someone. No need to offer advice. Just be there and understand that there may be some tears.
3. Is there anything I can do?
Chances are, there is nothing you can do to help. But it's the thought that counts, and us infertiles appreciate that you are willing to help.
Here are some other things to consider:
1. If you yourself get pregnant, privately tell your infertile friend your news a few days before you let others know. There is nothing worse than finding out your good friend is pregnant when she announces it to a room full of people, and there is little chance for escape. While your infertile friends' heart will still be shattered no matter when you tell her, at least you've given her the privacy to cry as well as the time needed to work through very strong feelings.
2. Don't be upset if she doesn't get all excited when you tell her about your pregnancy. When she hears the news, she'll probably be thinking, "oh great. ANOTHER f*ing woman is pregnant." Chances are she IS very happy for you deep inside though, so give her time to be sad, angry and/or jealous for herself.
3. Understand when she isolates herself. There will be good days and bad days. So when she declines an invitation to dinner or games, it's probably because she needs time alone. Also in this category, is how she deals with your pregnancy. For example, when one of my good friends was pregnant, I was invited to touch her belly to feel the baby moving. My immediate instinct was to decline, so that's what I did. Because I knew that if I felt that movement, I would break down with yearning. It didn't matter if it was a good day or a bad day... I knew what would happen if I did. So I didn't. And my friend understood.
4. Know that the emotions an infertile woman feels when someone close to her gets pregnant are very strong and generally negative. Even if you don't understand why she is upset, know that her feelings and reactions ARE valid and real. So please respect her as a person and don't shame her into thinking she's wrong in being upset. Because it's not wrong to have a negative reaction. It's not right, either. It just is, and no one can change that.
October 11, 2011
Friends of Infertiles - Say What?
Anyone dealing with infertility will have encountered well-meaning people who want to help them out in their time of need. Unfortunately, the things that usually come out of their mouths just make them mad with their insensitivity.
I've touched upon it in a few posts, but I thought I'd give a few of the most irritating pieces of advice & comments I've personally heard, why they bother me so much and/or maybe some of the things I'd like to retort back with (and it will help you to not say something that will upset your friend).
1. Just relax and it'll happen (or go on vacation and it'll happen)
This shows up as most women's #1 anger-inducing comment, and I'm no different. What I loathe about it, is that it implies that I am single handedly preventing myself from becoming pregnant just because I track everything regarding my cycle, which usually makes one more involved in the process. Hence, not relaxed. Besides, if that's all it takes, I would have had a baby right away, since I was as relaxed as could be back then. And relaxing won't take my PCOS away.
2. You're still young
Says the 25 year old woman with 2 kids already. And it's always the young mothers who say this. If a nice grandmotherly type said this to me, I wouldn't be nearly as bothered. But since it usually comes from younger women, it just sounds patronizing.
3. It'll happen when you're ready
Who the hell are you to tell me that I'm not ready to be a parent? Are you implying that it's best we wait because we'll be such horrible parents if it happens now? Ugh... this one makes my blood boil.
4. Just adopt
Because it's totally as easy as placing an order and going to pick it up 15 minutes later *eyeroll*
5. Being pregnant sucks
I would give my right arm if I could throw up every day for months on end, gain huge amounts of weight, get swollen ankles, etc. if it meant I could have a baby at the end of it. Just because you hated it doesn't mean I won't treasure every second of it...even then less-than-fun parts.
6. You must be having a lot of fun (having lots of sex) trying to have a baby
I love my husband. I love sex. But when you're in your fertile time, it's not really having sex... it's just another chore on your daily list. And chores usually aren't that awesome. Granted, the first few times are usually fun, but once you start doing it every day for the sole purpose of fertilizing an egg, it kinda loses meaning. (My husband does not share this view, BTW, and wishes I were fertile more often.)
7. Raising kids is hard.
Thank you Captain Obvious. Is this somehow supposed to make me rethink TTC just because it's not easy? Are you saying you think I'm not up to the task?
8. At least you get to sleep in/take vacations/go out
Again, I will gladly give these things up for a baby. I will live. Promise.
9. Are you sure you want kids? (said as the questioners own kids fight and bicker)
People in glass houses shouldn't throw rocks. This question is supposed to come off as cute, but all it does is make me judge your disciplining skills. Yeah, all kids bicker and fight, but when you do nothing to stop it, it makes me vow to not be like you. Besides, I'll be lucky if I even have ONE, let alone 2 who will bicker with each other. Count your blessings.
10. He just looks at me and I get pregnant
Congratulations. And thank you for rubbing your extreme fertileness in my face.
I've touched upon it in a few posts, but I thought I'd give a few of the most irritating pieces of advice & comments I've personally heard, why they bother me so much and/or maybe some of the things I'd like to retort back with (and it will help you to not say something that will upset your friend).
1. Just relax and it'll happen (or go on vacation and it'll happen)
This shows up as most women's #1 anger-inducing comment, and I'm no different. What I loathe about it, is that it implies that I am single handedly preventing myself from becoming pregnant just because I track everything regarding my cycle, which usually makes one more involved in the process. Hence, not relaxed. Besides, if that's all it takes, I would have had a baby right away, since I was as relaxed as could be back then. And relaxing won't take my PCOS away.
2. You're still young
Says the 25 year old woman with 2 kids already. And it's always the young mothers who say this. If a nice grandmotherly type said this to me, I wouldn't be nearly as bothered. But since it usually comes from younger women, it just sounds patronizing.
3. It'll happen when you're ready
Who the hell are you to tell me that I'm not ready to be a parent? Are you implying that it's best we wait because we'll be such horrible parents if it happens now? Ugh... this one makes my blood boil.
4. Just adopt
Because it's totally as easy as placing an order and going to pick it up 15 minutes later *eyeroll*
5. Being pregnant sucks
I would give my right arm if I could throw up every day for months on end, gain huge amounts of weight, get swollen ankles, etc. if it meant I could have a baby at the end of it. Just because you hated it doesn't mean I won't treasure every second of it...even then less-than-fun parts.
6. You must be having a lot of fun (having lots of sex) trying to have a baby
I love my husband. I love sex. But when you're in your fertile time, it's not really having sex... it's just another chore on your daily list. And chores usually aren't that awesome. Granted, the first few times are usually fun, but once you start doing it every day for the sole purpose of fertilizing an egg, it kinda loses meaning. (My husband does not share this view, BTW, and wishes I were fertile more often.)
7. Raising kids is hard.
Thank you Captain Obvious. Is this somehow supposed to make me rethink TTC just because it's not easy? Are you saying you think I'm not up to the task?
8. At least you get to sleep in/take vacations/go out
Again, I will gladly give these things up for a baby. I will live. Promise.
9. Are you sure you want kids? (said as the questioners own kids fight and bicker)
People in glass houses shouldn't throw rocks. This question is supposed to come off as cute, but all it does is make me judge your disciplining skills. Yeah, all kids bicker and fight, but when you do nothing to stop it, it makes me vow to not be like you. Besides, I'll be lucky if I even have ONE, let alone 2 who will bicker with each other. Count your blessings.
10. He just looks at me and I get pregnant
Congratulations. And thank you for rubbing your extreme fertileness in my face.
October 6, 2011
Cycle #27
Yep.
Although last cycle was NOT cool. I thought I was pregnant because I developed the urge to eat everything in sight, even though I had stuffed myself only a hour before. This lasted a few days. So since this was something new, I of course jumped to the conclusion that something finally worked and that there'd be a baby coming mid June 2012. Not so. I started spotting at 11DPO, per the norm, and 5 days later, AF.
There is something so devastating about thinking you're pregnant, instead of just hoping you are, only to find out you were wrong. After you've thought about how & when you'll tell friends and family, beginning a name list, nurseries and most heartbreakingly, after you've imagined cradling that sweet little lump in your arms once it's been born.
And that's the exact reason why I'm so pessimistic about the outcome of my cycles. I LOVE thinking about all those things, but I've learned I shouldn't think about them in the LP. Which sucks because they make me so happy. But it's a small sacrifice for not being inconsolable when the inevitable BFN shows up.
Although last cycle was NOT cool. I thought I was pregnant because I developed the urge to eat everything in sight, even though I had stuffed myself only a hour before. This lasted a few days. So since this was something new, I of course jumped to the conclusion that something finally worked and that there'd be a baby coming mid June 2012. Not so. I started spotting at 11DPO, per the norm, and 5 days later, AF.
There is something so devastating about thinking you're pregnant, instead of just hoping you are, only to find out you were wrong. After you've thought about how & when you'll tell friends and family, beginning a name list, nurseries and most heartbreakingly, after you've imagined cradling that sweet little lump in your arms once it's been born.
And that's the exact reason why I'm so pessimistic about the outcome of my cycles. I LOVE thinking about all those things, but I've learned I shouldn't think about them in the LP. Which sucks because they make me so happy. But it's a small sacrifice for not being inconsolable when the inevitable BFN shows up.
October 4, 2011
Options
From the very moment I discovered I had a problem, I started thinking of all the options open to me in order to get a baby. Many women run the gamut of tests & procedures, and although not all are successful, enough are to give hope and make an industry. Many turn to adoption. Many decide to foster. Many choose to remain childfree. So which of these options are still on the table for me?
Drugs
I'm not unwilling to take fertility medicine, but only up to a certain point. Clomid is as far as I can see myself going. Part of it is because I cannot afford to be monitored, which is usually a requirement for most of the Big Guns. The other part is because my husband is against taking any drugs at all, and that if we can't have a baby naturally, it just wasn't meant to be. While I don't necessarily agree with him on the no drug part, his view on the other part falls in line with what I generally believe in life... that if it was meant to happen, it will happen. So I guess it's a huge step for me to even see the RE, let alone take some minor fertility drugs.
Procedures
All along, IVF has been off the table. I feel I cannot put myself through the mental, physical and financial strain for something that may not work. Even when my old medical coverage would cover 1 IVF procedure & drugs, I never even considered it. IUI is also off the table, mostly because I'd need to be monitored to do it.
Adoption
Adoption has always been an option for us, although we would likely find a birth mother who was still pregnant. While I have nothing against toddlers and older kids, I just want a new baby. Makes me sound selfish, and maybe I am, but it is what it is. Anyway, once we decide to stop TTC, this will be our next step. Hopefully the adoption tax credit will still be in place. Otherwise it might be a difficult go for us financially.
Fostering
I'm not totally opposed to it, but it makes me leery. I know I can adopt through fostering, but there will be a very small chance at adopting a baby through foster care. Not only that, but I'm not sure I'm up to the task of being a foster parent in general. Tons of unknowns, and while I understand that the whole goal of fostering is to reunite the kids with the parents, I'm not sure I can handle sending kids I've been caring for and loving back to a home whose situation is tenuous at best.
Childfree
This option has been entering my brain more and more. I think, "our life is full and happy, and we don't NEED kids to make it more so." And it's true. All the things infertiles hate to hear from other people are sometimes true... we can sleep in if we want to; we can leave town on a whim; we have plenty of money to do fun things with, etc. So in the end it will come down to whether we will regret this decision in the future, or if we really will be fine with only living vicariously through friends in the kid department, which is what we are doing right now. This option is still a few years off from being seriously considered though.
Drugs
I'm not unwilling to take fertility medicine, but only up to a certain point. Clomid is as far as I can see myself going. Part of it is because I cannot afford to be monitored, which is usually a requirement for most of the Big Guns. The other part is because my husband is against taking any drugs at all, and that if we can't have a baby naturally, it just wasn't meant to be. While I don't necessarily agree with him on the no drug part, his view on the other part falls in line with what I generally believe in life... that if it was meant to happen, it will happen. So I guess it's a huge step for me to even see the RE, let alone take some minor fertility drugs.
Procedures
All along, IVF has been off the table. I feel I cannot put myself through the mental, physical and financial strain for something that may not work. Even when my old medical coverage would cover 1 IVF procedure & drugs, I never even considered it. IUI is also off the table, mostly because I'd need to be monitored to do it.
Adoption
Adoption has always been an option for us, although we would likely find a birth mother who was still pregnant. While I have nothing against toddlers and older kids, I just want a new baby. Makes me sound selfish, and maybe I am, but it is what it is. Anyway, once we decide to stop TTC, this will be our next step. Hopefully the adoption tax credit will still be in place. Otherwise it might be a difficult go for us financially.
Fostering
I'm not totally opposed to it, but it makes me leery. I know I can adopt through fostering, but there will be a very small chance at adopting a baby through foster care. Not only that, but I'm not sure I'm up to the task of being a foster parent in general. Tons of unknowns, and while I understand that the whole goal of fostering is to reunite the kids with the parents, I'm not sure I can handle sending kids I've been caring for and loving back to a home whose situation is tenuous at best.
Childfree
This option has been entering my brain more and more. I think, "our life is full and happy, and we don't NEED kids to make it more so." And it's true. All the things infertiles hate to hear from other people are sometimes true... we can sleep in if we want to; we can leave town on a whim; we have plenty of money to do fun things with, etc. So in the end it will come down to whether we will regret this decision in the future, or if we really will be fine with only living vicariously through friends in the kid department, which is what we are doing right now. This option is still a few years off from being seriously considered though.
October 3, 2011
Food challenge
The other day, my husband was trying to find ingredients to make brownies, and wasn't having much luck since the kitchen is my domain. In the process of looking however, he saw food (staples mostly) that we don't use that often. And this bothers him. See, my husband is the kind of person that buys only what he needs, and feels that we shouldn't need to keep a lot of food in the house, even if they are staples. So he issued a challenge to me that I'm willing to do (for once).
For 4 weeks, starting the last week of October until the end of the third week in November, we will eat only food that we have at the house. That's right. NO trips to the store*. The first week or so, we will use up the perishables like produce, bread and eggs. But after that, that's when it should get interesting, especially for him. He loves fruits and veggies and overall, eats really well. So I think it'll become difficult for him towards the end when we will probably be eating a lot of oatmeal, rice, pasta and potatoes - all of which he eats very sparingly now.
And honestly, I don't think we have THAT much food... you know, the amount we need to feed both of us 3 meals a day for 1 month without going to the store, and without starving ourselves. So I think I'm going to have to be a little sneaky these next few weeks and make some things I can freeze easily, like chili and soup. As well as supplement some things I think we'll really miss, like orange juice. I <3 oj, so I think I may have to cheat and buy a few cans of frozen oj. I might not be able to get away with that as much though, because I usually only buy the non-frozen stuff and he'll be onto me like white on rice if he sees those cans in the freezer. So I may have to think about that.
*the only exception to the no-going-to-the-store thing, is when we host our friends for our bi-monthly dinner & game party. There are 6 of us and we all rotate on who cooks. My turn will be coming up within that month time frame, and I can't subject my friends to this challenge without a lot of guilt. Because by that time, we will likely be well within the pasta and butter sauce stage.
Within the next few weeks, I will be taking inventory of what we have and making meals plans, and I'll share that here. Should be interesting. But I will say, Thanksgiving will kick ass because of this. And it'll be fun to build up my food supply again ;)
For 4 weeks, starting the last week of October until the end of the third week in November, we will eat only food that we have at the house. That's right. NO trips to the store*. The first week or so, we will use up the perishables like produce, bread and eggs. But after that, that's when it should get interesting, especially for him. He loves fruits and veggies and overall, eats really well. So I think it'll become difficult for him towards the end when we will probably be eating a lot of oatmeal, rice, pasta and potatoes - all of which he eats very sparingly now.
And honestly, I don't think we have THAT much food... you know, the amount we need to feed both of us 3 meals a day for 1 month without going to the store, and without starving ourselves. So I think I'm going to have to be a little sneaky these next few weeks and make some things I can freeze easily, like chili and soup. As well as supplement some things I think we'll really miss, like orange juice. I <3 oj, so I think I may have to cheat and buy a few cans of frozen oj. I might not be able to get away with that as much though, because I usually only buy the non-frozen stuff and he'll be onto me like white on rice if he sees those cans in the freezer. So I may have to think about that.
*the only exception to the no-going-to-the-store thing, is when we host our friends for our bi-monthly dinner & game party. There are 6 of us and we all rotate on who cooks. My turn will be coming up within that month time frame, and I can't subject my friends to this challenge without a lot of guilt. Because by that time, we will likely be well within the pasta and butter sauce stage.
Within the next few weeks, I will be taking inventory of what we have and making meals plans, and I'll share that here. Should be interesting. But I will say, Thanksgiving will kick ass because of this. And it'll be fun to build up my food supply again ;)
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