Pregnancy: 3rd week

Week 3
November 1-7

I am still in utter disbelief. To know that I have finally gotten a BFP after all the struggle is so sweet! And I guess I'm still technically 12DPO, which is early for most doctors. The line should get darker and darker each day, and I have about 20 internet cheapie HPT's to burn... so I will definitely be testing every day until I feel like stopping. Which might not be for a while. I consider myself a recovering POAS-a-holic, and I'm falling off the wagon. Because now I will have actual results, so it's fun!

Sorry... not much else to write. My excitement has no words.

So........

Hey, guess what?
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We're going to have a baby!

Right now, as of January 3, 2012, I'm 12w0d, so that puts my due date at July 17, 2012.

We actually found out the beginning of November, but I wanted to keep the surprise until Christmas. Sorry. I faked a cycle just for this blog in order to keep people from finding out. But I'm completely sure I'm forgiven. :)

My very first hint was on 6DPO, when my throat started to hurt. I'd always heard that a lot of women get sore throats shortly after implantation, but I put it down as an old wives tale. I thought I was simply sick, because a friends' son had recently been sick, and thought I'd caught it.

Next hint was the next day at 7DPO, when I spotted. Spotting is nothing new to me, so I thought I was just getting started early this cycle, and gave it up as a bad job. But I only spotted one time that day, and nothing else in the days following. Hmmmm...

So me, being in denial, went on as normal for the next few days, and my sore throat turned into a full-blown illness, which I'm still coughing from. My husband really wanted me to see a doctor about it, so on a whim, I POAS. I figured if I really was sick and the doctor was to give me anything, they might wanna know about it.


Imagine my surprise when I saw a faint line at 11DPO (3 days before my missed period). I think I just sat there in disbelief for about 10 minutes, and then got up and took it over to a window just to make sure I wasn't seeing things. Nope. It was still there. I am pregnant! Holy crap! Over the next few days, the line progressively got darker. Yep. Definitely pregnant. *grin* But surprisingly, I was calm about it. I didn't cry, scream, nor jump up & down. It was actually pretty surreal for a long time.

How I told DH was nothing too special. Over the years, I'd thought of various fun ways to tell him that we were going to have a baby. But it took so freaking long that it seemed pretty anti-climatic to go all fancy over it. So I just stuck with the facts.

Over dinner one night -

Me: Hey, I think I know why I've been so sick
Him: Why?
Me: Because I'm pregnant.
Him: Are you sure?
Me: Yes.
Him: Well, that's good news!

See? Simple & to the point. But I still don't think it's really sunk in for him yet. Maybe when I get big and fat (!!!!) and he can feel the kicking, will he realize the awesomeness of it all.

I've kept weekly updates from when I first found out, and I'll publish those every few days, just so you can come along on the ride... though a little late. And yes, I have a lot of HPT's. Infertile women buy HPT's bulk off the internet. They're way cheap, and are usually more sensitive than those you can buy at the store. For a pack of 25, I paid about $5.50. Anyway, that's why you see a lot of tests... that and I will never get tired of seeing 2 lines!

Oh, and this is the reason why I've been kinda lame on the blogging... it's extremely hard to write about infertility when all you're doing inside is jumping up and down over the baby in your tummy. It's not that I've forgotten that I will always have problems, probably even after I have the baby, but it's like I'm taking a 9-month break from infertility. And it's awesome not to have that full weight on my shoulders. I've written lots of pregnancy-related blogs though. Those were really easy. ;)

P52

This year is the year. I am determined!

So what is it? Project 52 (P52) is where you make it a point to take at least one picture a week for a whole year, and then scrapbook what you have. It was originally just taking a picture a week, but it morphed into scrapping, too. And P52 is actually an off-shoot of Project 365. Yep. Taking a picture every day for a whole year. P365 is a little (ok, very) ambitious for me. So P52 is perfect, and I just happen to have tons of digital scrapbooking "supplies" just sitting on my external hard drive, waiting to be used.

I did remember it in time to start on the New Year this year, but after a few months, I seemed to run out of inspiration. I mean, I'm at home pretty much all day. There's only so much you can take a picture of before you start getting monotonous, and who wants to see a picture of stuff I clean? So then I thought it'd be fun to take a picture of DH's sandwiches during the week. But he eats the same thing literally every day (he likes it like that), so if that's not monotonous, I don't know what is.

Between now and the New Year, I have to find a theme to take pictures of. Like how our backyard changes every week (sounds fun, doesn't it?). Or which game our group of friends likes to play. I dunno. Something. But I really want to do it, so I'd better get inspired quick like. Just don't be surprised if I alter it down to P12! Hey, then I can make a calendar! I may be on to something there...

10 years

I suppose I should have written this last month, but honestly, I forgot this pretty big milestone due to the fact that the marriage anniversary trumps this one by a lot.

On November 3rd this year, my DH and I have officially been together for 10 years! And the time has flown by, but it still feels like we've been together forever. A third of my life. Wow.

We met when I was a sophomore in college and he was a junior. I was hanging out (or partying...) with some guys in the dorm at the time (no, not like that) and one night he showed up with one of the guys I'd been hanging out with a little. But since he had a girlfriend, I didn't even look at him with interest. Since he and this other guy are good friends, he was around a lot. And apparently I looked interesting enough that he would go out of his way to talk to me. Pretty soon, they were teaching me how to play 3-handed pinochle, and we became friends.

The next school year came, and after starting out kinda awkwardly (for numerous reasons I won't go into), we picked back up with the friendship. But little by little, it became apparent to me that he was interested in maybe more than friendship. He & his girlfriend had broken up during the previous school year, so I didn't have to worry about that. And I was interested also, and had been for a while, but was still hesitant. One night, he asked me out and I said yes. I don't remember what we did (it was probably a group date), but I do remember thinking that it would probably be a short-lived relationship... we were just too different to last a long time. Or so I thought.

He graduated & I became a senior, and we were going strong. Then I graduated and decided to stay because of him. I moved into his apartment. And while it was rough going there for a while, we got through it. We then moved into a house he bought. Then 5 years after we started dating, he proposed. Honestly, I was long past wondering if it would ever happen, so I was so happy when he did. Of course, I said yes. In April 2008, we got married.

Examining us now, it's become apparent to me that we have lasted this long simply because we are so different. If he were anything like me, it would drive me crazy, and any relationship certainly wouldn't last 5 years, let alone 10. Sure, we do share a lot of ideals & opinions, and that's our common thread. But everything else is just complementary of the other person.

And every day I thank my lucky stars that I have him in my life. I have no idea where I'd be without him. :)

Our wanna-be crunchy lifestyle

Okay, wanna-be is pushing it a bit, but we talk about it once in a while. DH especially. He goes all out, and it involves doing stuff I don't think I can ever get into.

My idea of being crunchy is having my own garden in which I grow veggies and some fruit. But it wouldn't be organic. DH is all for that, but he takes the garden one step further by making our own compost. Fine. It makes sense to use grass clippings and food trash to feed the earth.

But here's where he goes a little crazy. He wants chickens. And goats. If I asked, he'd probably be all for a cow, and if we ate more pork, he'd want a pig, too. Um, no. I draw the line at having my own garden. I don't wanna have to deal with animal poop and taking care of said animals when it's -40F with 3 feet of snow on the ground in the winter. Besides, if we had those kind of animals, we'd need to live out in the country, because I think there are city ordinances against farm animals within city limits or something.

As always though, I have no idea if he's just teasing me or if he'd really do it if I gave him half a chance (which I won't). And I don't foresee the garden happening anytime soon, either. I love the idea of it, but when it comes down to it, I like being inside, and I HATE digging in the dirt. That is a recipe for a garden fail if I ever saw one.

But it's all nice to think about sometimes :)

Christmas break

Not in the literal sense anyway. But as far as college band is concerned, it's Christmas break. We had the last concert of the semester on Sunday, and there are no more rehearsals until the middle of January. Sweet!

Why am I in the college band even though I'm not a student? Well, our local college has a pretty small band and the director invites community members and faculty to join to supplement the group. And I feel kinda special because I fall under the alumni category... and in special, I mean it makes me feel old sometimes. Like last year on September 11th, we were having sectionals and I mentioned that I was a sophomore in college when it happened and what class I was in, etc. My entire section were freshman, so they just looked at me with wide eyes and one of them said, "I don't remember much because I was in the second grade." Wow. That made me feel like a super old 29 year old.

Anyway, after I got laid off in 2010, and after the instructor for Jazzercize retired, I found my 5:00's suddenly open. So I contacted the director and asked if I would be able to join. Certainly, he said. I went in one day to "test" for placement, although I knew very well that I would be last chair just because I was joining midway through the 1st semester. That's fine. I like not having tons of responsibilities to play high notes and stuff. Now I'm in my second year with the band and am principle second, and really liking it. The director usually picks pretty difficult music, so it's a challenge, and the clarinet section has 10 people in it this year. This is ginormous for the size of our band, so we're told to back off a lot.

But it also drains my energy pretty quickly, so I'm glad for the break. Now would also be the perfect time to break in some new reeds, as I'm still on the one I used last year. But breaking in a reed is a pain in the ass, so I don't want to. I'll have to suck it up though because I really NEED a new working reed. Blah. Why can't they come pre-broken?

Sorry...

I haven't written a lot because I just haven't been wanting to write about infertility. And since that's why I started this blog, I feel guilty if I don't write about it. But then I remind myself that it's actually a personal blog, and it just so happens that infertility is a HUGE part of my life, so it stands to reason that I would write about it a lot. But I do do other things, too! Like swim. And play in the college band even though I'm far removed from the college scene. And pretend to celebrate Hanukkah because my husband thinks it's weird that I grew up opening family gifts on Christmas Eve and Santa gifts on Christmas Day (more than one day for opening gifts... get it? I'm not actually Jewish). So maybe I should write about those more? Yeah!

So yeah. I'll try to be around more. But I can't promise anything more than that, because honestly, my everyday life isn't all that exciting, let alone exciting enough to write about it. I'll try to change that!